By Martha Heineman Pieper, William J. Pieper
Drawing upon their years of counseling adventure, the bestselling writer staff of Martha Heineman Pieper, Ph.D. and William J. Pieper, M.D. clarify how parenting kinds according to self-discipline and over the top expectancies young ones to equate sadness with love. This usually persists into maturity, resulting in behaviors together with consuming problems, compulsive playing, disastrous romantic offerings, substance abuse, and extra. This publication provides readers with robust instruments, together with self-assessments, checklists, diaries, and workouts, to beat their desire for disappointment.
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Additional resources for Addicted to Unhappiness: Free Yourself from Moods and Behaviors That Undermine Relationships, Work, and the Life You Want
Chapter 2 Developing a Need for Relationship Conflict he addiction to unhappiness can make it difficult to find and to enjoy close friendships and love relationships. Everyone imports from childhood deep-seated assumptions about what makes a good relationship. These assumptions can lead people to: T • Have difficulty making friends or finding partners • Pick the wrong people as friends and partners and then invest considerable emotional capital in the hopeless effort to make the relationship more rewarding • Make reasonable choices of friends and partners and then pick fights, lose interest, or otherwise sabotage the relationship they could otherwise enjoy The good news about the fact that the root of our relationship problems typically lies within us is that we can change ourselves more easily than we can change someone else.
Eventually, you probably concluded that you were wrong to care so much about your parents’ interest and approval. You may have tried to feel positively about yourself by pleasing your parents and doing without their 48 Addicted to Unhappiness attention. If you confused the unhappiness of feeling you shouldn’t ask your parents for attention with the happiness of a caring relationship, you would also have developed needs to re-create that unhappiness. Without knowing it, you would have learned lessons that can make it difficult for you to have unruffled positive relationships as an adult and to parent your own children.
Because those persons will have no need to cause themselves any kind of unnecessary unhappiness, they will also make good choices and will be able consistently to follow through on these choices. In other words, your birthright and the birthright of every child is a kind of nurture that makes permanent your inborn conviction of being loveable and loved. The result is a lifelong ability to take good care of yourself and your body, the knack of choosing and keeping loyal friends and partners, the capacity to work to your potential and enjoy it, the resilience to recover from setbacks and bad luck, and the ability to give your own children the gift of inner happiness.