Download A Dirty Job: A Novel by Christopher Moore PDF

By Christopher Moore

Charlie Asher is a stunning common man with a standard existence, married to a brilliant and beautiful lady who truly loves him for his normalcy. They're even approximately to have their first baby. sure, Charlie's doing okay—until humans begin losing lifeless round him, and all over the place he is going a depressing presence whispers to him from below the streets. Charlie Asher, it sort of feels, has been recruited for a brand new place: as dying.

It's a grimy activity. yet, hiya! Somebody's gotta do it.

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Additional resources for A Dirty Job: A Novel

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Always compliment the merchandise; it might be a piece of crap to you, but they might have a lot of their soul poured into it. Compliment but never covet. You can make a profit and preserve everyone’s dignity in the process. “Holy shit,” Charlie said as he followed the old man into a walkin closet the size of his own apartment. “I mean—your wife had exquisite taste, Mr. ” There was row upon row of designer couture clothing, everything from evening gowns to racks, two tiers high, of knit suits, arranged by color and level of formality—an opulent rainbow of silk and linen and wool.

I think that might be a metaphor. ” “Why don’t you just make a big foam-rubber suit for her, it’s easier than padding the world. Charlie, it’s scary-looking in here. ” Charlie looked at his sister for a long second without saying anything, just frozen there, holding a disposable diaper in one hand and his daughter’s ankles scissored between the fingers of the other. “When you’re ready,” Jane stumbled on. ” “Of course not. I’m not saying that. But you have to leave the apartment. For one thing, you need to go downstairs to the store.

Charlie looked up so quickly he heard a vertebra pop in his neck. Hadn’t seen that coming. “The dumb broad ate silica gel,” Mainheart said, irritated as well as agonized. ” Charlie was shaking his head, as if trying to rattle something loose. ” “Silica gel! Silica gel! ” Charlie felt as if he should shout the name of some arcane stuff back at him: Well, symethicone! Symethicone! Symethicone, you buttnugget! Instead he said, “The stuff fake breasts are made of? ” The image of a well-dressed older woman macking on a goopish spoonful of artificial boob spooge was running across the lobes of his brain like a stuttering nightmare.

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